the one thing that holds you back…

…FEAR…

It defines everything you do. Whether you fear the dark or spiders or needles or whatever—it defines your actions. COMPLETELY ridiculous, but for example, I am TERRIFIED of sharks. whenever I go to the beach, I won’t go on the pier. If I have to, I have to force myself to not look down. I have this RIDICULOUS fear that the planks I’m walking on are going to break and I will fall through right into the open jaws of a waiting shark. My fears prevent me from going on that pier…and when I DO go, I can’t enjoy it, cause I’m freaking out! (At least I’m not afraid of snakes though…weird, huh? *teehee*)

My fears hold me back.

To me, there is a difference between obvious fears and subtle fears. My obvious fears are just that—obvious. I listed them above: sharks, spiders, etc. They hold me back from dark places that I don’t know in case there are spiders. They keep me out of the ocean because sharks live there. This is pretty obvious. However, emotionally, it’s harder to identify because it’s there for self-preservation—to not get hurt again by people I allow into my life. I am not going to lie. I am a “strong person” because I’m scared to open up again. These fears makes life easier, because by not opening myself up to something that has the potential to cause disappointment, I can “protect” my heart. But what is that called—a lack of faith.

Now faith is most often taken to mean something regarding religion, Jesus, faith in God, etc. However, faith applies to everything in life. I know—what a concept, right? How is this just now making sense to me?

How am I supposed to live my life to the full—the way God fully intended and WANTS it to be—if I fear what it would mean to open up again? God puts people and things in our lives so that we don’t HAVE to be alone and so that we can enjoy life. 

There is a song that I love, but I’ve only truly come to appreciate it after my “epiphany.” The lyrics go: “So you’re scared. It’s ok. All the best things start out that way. Look at me—I’m living proof. All the lies on earth can’t hide the truth…I have faith in leaping, throwing out what ain’t worth keeping. Sometimes it’s hard to want what I’m needing, but I have faith in leaping.” WOW…I’m not the only one who has fears that hold them back. (Again, what a concept!)

Now, I can’t make promises that I won’t be scared to open up again, but I can promise to try. I don’t want to be held down and held back by my fears. So what is it going to be: faith or fear? I know what I WANT my answer to be.

So here’s to faith—faith in leaping!