Changes!

Life has been such a whirlwind lately...Some things good, some things not so happy, but it's changed life as I know it. Shortly after my last post, on August 8, my wonderful Papo died unexpectedly in his sleep. It was one of the hardest thing I have ever experienced. People close to me have lost relatives, good friends, etc., but I had never lost anyone close to me, then, suddenly, death came all up close and personal. I had seen him the day before and he was healthy as he could have been, and feeling better the past few than he had in years...Saying goodbye at the funeral a week later, however, made me realize once again that life is short, and you need to MAKE something of it. Papo was the most wonderful grandfather and human being a person could ever dream of knowing, and his death really did not make sense. No one could say anything bad about him, whether now, or before he died. He made his 73 years count for something. Which brings me to my next point...

I have decided to apply for a master's degree program! The point of life is not to be successful, but every occurrence is an opportunity for God to use you, and make yourself reach your fullest potential. God opens doors, and sometimes closes them. But whether or not I find someone to date and get married to again, I want to be self sufficient, and able to provide for me and my son on my own. I have also really had the desire to be in a position where I could minister to lots of people, and this masters program would allow me to get a job doing that. The program is referred to as the MSOM program, standing for a Masters of Science in Organizational Management. I have prayed about it and feel that I would really be able to be successful at something in this field...So if all goes well, I could be starting it at the end of October! If not, I would start in January. :) Then I can get a good job and take good care of my little monster :D

Speaking of the little monster, he is not so little anymore! He was 10 months old on the 13th of August, so  he's getting so old! He got his first two teeth pretty much right at once, within a couple days of each other, 5 days before he turned 9 months old...and he hasn't gotten ANY since...

This kid is a water baby as well. He absolutely ADORES his baths, and gets upset when I take him out...This picture was taken after i tried taking him out but he kept squirming trying to stay in the sink...

He is still crawling all over the place...he knows how to crawl "normally," but he still loves doing the army crawl, and loves pulling stuff on top of him...as evident in THIS picture...

but now he can pull himself up to standing...he's getting so BIG!!!

Well, that is it for now! If you've made it this far and are still reading, THANKS! haha.

how will you be remembered?

Tonight I went to a memorial celebration for a 5 month old baby. Little Isaac passed away a week ago, due to a heart condition. The past week has been a roller coaster of emotions. Why would God give him to us and then take him away? Why take HIM? His parents are so amazing, so why not take someone else's child? There are many people I personally know who don't even deserve to call themselves parents.  So why Isaac? As a Christian pretty much my entire life, you hear "God always has a reason. We might not know what the reason is, but He has a plan." I really did not know what that meant until tonight. Hearing the story of Isaac's final days along with seeing pictures and hearing from the people who were there with him as he went to be with Jesus really changed how I saw God and his plan. Pastor Rob shared that God spoke to him saying that we measure by years, but God measures by accomplishments. Isaac fulfilled all that God needed him to accomplish in his short life.

So what about me? What about you? What about everyone? I'm 23 years old. What am I doing to accomplish things for God? Will he keep me on this earth until I'm more of a liability than an asset for his kingdom? What does it say about me that the circumstances of a 5 month old accomplished so much more in the last week of his life than I have in my almost quarter of a century on this earth? Now, I'm not saying that the longer you're alive, the less you've done for the kingdom of God. Methuselah lived to be 969 years old, and he walked with God and earned a spot in history as the longest living person EVER.  I guess I'm just saying that it got me thinking. When I die, what will people remember me for?  Was I a good friend? listener? witness? Was I brave? strong? Or will they say, "Aw, poor thing...life handed her a sour hand, and she did well, but she never was the same" or "She really bounced back, all things considered"? No offense, but I don't want to hear "all things considered." REGARDLESS of my circumstances, I want people to see me and see the joy of the Lord, and just the happiness of having another day to live. I want to marvel every day about the miracles around me. I want to be a good friend to EVERYONE, regardless of how they are towards me.  Jesus loved his persecutors, and was never mean or talked bad about them.

So what about you? Are you just living to live? Come on and make a difference. Be like little Isaac who has a special place in heaven because his parents allowed him to make a difference and be part of God's plans and accomplishments. I'm a single mom...but I won't let that define me.  Isaac had a heart condition...but that's not how we remember him.

How will YOU be remembered?

creativity?

I want to scream! And not entirely in a bad way at all. The past couple weeks or so, I have so many ideas in my head that just NEED to get out, but I don't know how lol. I REALLY want to do like a drama group or something like that where I can let my "creativity" and "vision" play out and I can have that sense of accomplishment that I did something that I've always wanted to do...but where to start?! I have NO clue. haha. I guess I'll just have to wait for all that. In the right time! :D

Anyways, Isaiah just turned 8 months old yesterday! I cannot BELIEVE it...he's so big! 21 lbs and 10 ounces...and that was a week and a half ago, so he's probably all of 22 lbs now...yet he has no teeth.

he likes to army crawl now, but can't regularly crawl. haha it'll be soon though probably. I just can't believe that He is so big. He really is the size of a 12 month old. I think he is so cute, but of course, I'm the mom, so my opinion does not really count. :D

anyways, time to take care of the little monster! 

Til next time!

destinations are where we begin again...

SO...


A lot has changed since I have last written. This is a really hard blog to write (at least the first part), but I need to anyways. Adam and I are getting a divorce. To make a long story short, I left because of infidelity on Adam's part. It was super hard to come to terms with but I'm moving on now. Life is too short to have regrets. I don't have any. You learn your lessons and know that God has a reason for it all. I don't know what those reasons are, and I don't know if I ever will, but it makes no sense to be angry anymore. I can't change what happened to me, so I might as well move on with a good attitude! :)


Anyways! :) 
In other news, Isaiah is now seven months and two weeks old exactly today! :) He is such a big boy already! I weighed him with me on the scale in the bathroom, and he is 21 1/2 lbs...my little fatty boy. He is such a beautiful baby, and is super happy all the time. 

He still does not have any teeth yet, but I'm not too worried. He'll get them when he needs to, and since I am still nursing him, if he does not get any anytime soon, that is FINE with me! 


He can now sit up on his own, which is wonderful for me. I can now let him sit up and play, so he can see what is going on around him, thus making him much more content to not be held.  He was not able to use the bumbo chair much, because he tried to flip it several times by leaning over and reaching to get something out of reach...he almost flipped three times, but I was able to catch him haha.



I know every mommy says this, but i think he's a beautiful baby. I did not think I could handle the journey to becoming a single mom, but he has made it so much easier. He is such a joy and a wonderful baby that it is worth every struggle. Being a mommy is hard work, but I love every minute of it. It makes all the hard times worth it when he looks up at me like the little angel that he is...most of the time anyways!